Know your lane...On the Side

Ladies,

Have you ever been feeling a guy ? The things are going good? He’s a gentleman or hood (whatever you like)? He replies to your text in a reasonable amount of time? He comes over with wine and food but something just seems off? You begin to realize that he never calls you when he is home or he rather come to your house then invite you over to his? My friend you may be a side chick.

Being a side piece is not a position that most people want unless they are already in a relationship & are looking for cheating with ease. It could be also a possibility that they are looking for a friends with benefits situation. There are some benefits with being a side joint like not having to commit, ample free time, not having to answer to one person and being able to screw said person when you both have the time. It could be beneficial as well as heart breaking due to the fact that sometimes women tend to develop feelings for the person that they are having sex with. Not only that, you would crave for this person and when they are unavailable to you due to him spending time with wifey you will begin to feel lonely.  Which sucks especially when the holiday season creeps around.

My name is Gilli and I have been a side chick. I foolishly at one time thought that man could be actually mine’s one day. That ends up to never be the case. Those men would never leave their woman for you. PERIOD!!!! No matter how good your cooking is, how many pairs of Balenciagas  or Jimmy Choo loafers you get him or how good your deep throat skills are. They would never leave her. But ask yourself this: Why would you want a man that you KNOW cheats? It’s not that much reform in the world that will stop a man from doing what he wants to do. I have noticed that men will only be the stand up guy for the woman that he wants to be with. Not to say he won’t cheat, just to say that the main chick will always come first. 

It’s not an uncommon thing to fall for a guy knowing what his relationship status is and beginning  a sexual relationship with him. Men and women have been doing since the beginning of time. The sexual tension may be lingering in the air. Your curiosity may get the better of you. It’s second nature to feel a desire to go after something/someone that you know you shouldn’t go after. Whatever your reason its cool just don’t think that you can’t dictate what happens. There are rules (like with everything else) to being a side chick and they must be followed.

1. You can’t allow yourself to fall in love with him. Or catch any type of emotional feelings  AT ALL!!!! He isn’t yours,  you are leasing him. Once he has met his peak mileage return him back to the dealer. Then go shopping for a better model that you can own.
2. NEVER and I mean NEVER follow his girl on social media. That is nothing but a recipe for disaster. Even if you are about that disaster starting life, please don’t do it.  It’ll go like this, you bam out on her IG, Facebook, Periscope whatever social media site you choose to act like a cold weak joint on. Then he calls you and checks you for your weak joint behavior, decides not to mess with you and not only does he go home to wifey but finds a new side chick! So you catching feelings not only has you getting cut off from the peen but you are also looking crazy on social media for checking another chick about HER man! Not only that you can’t read and clearly violated rule #1!!!! 
3. No calls, only texts and do not save his number. Only time he should call you is to say that he’s outside and for you to open the door. And that’s only after he tried to text you and the text went unanswered. 
4. It should be a temporary situation. You could have just gotten out of a relationship a few months ago and want to have sex without jumping into a relationship. Whatever the reason. Set the rules and boundaries of what you expect from him. Just because you are not the main does not mean you can’t set the rules of your situation. Set a timeline on when you want to get out of the situation. Unless he's Muslim or a polygamist there won't be any wedding bells or sister -wives ending for your fuckship. 
5. Be able to handle being lonely. He won’t be able to be there for you to fulfill your every need. He won’t be able to take you to the movies every Saturday. Maybe can’t come fix the slow drip in your kitchen sink. Or to watch your favorite tv show. Holidays will be spent with his girl. The nights you want him will not be the nights you get him. Someone else comes before you. He may have a family and they damn sure are coming before you. So get a body pillow and name him Ben cause honey that’s the only thing you would be cuddling with. That’s the hard truth.
   

Whatever reason you find yourself settling for second best know that this is a situation that won’t be an easy one to deal with. You can find yourself agreeing to the rules at the beginning but at the end messing the whole shit up. I have found that it is easy to say that you can deal with it at the beginning. You tell yourself “Oh girl you got this!!! Shit I’m going be alright.Plus the dick is bomb! ” By the 5th month you may end up drinking or crying yourself to sleep cuz he can’t come over or won’t answer.  “Why won’t he answer?” You ask yourself. I know why fool, cuz he’s with the chick he told you about before you started letting him put his thumb in your butt & you begin to treat that dick like it's yours!  This situation isn’t for the faint at heart. It may lead to regret.  All that energy you used you could have put in a man that doesn’t have a woman and could give you 100%  not 50%! 

Be smart, always know what you are dealing with and make sure that you are able to mentally deal with it. If not then don’t trip, let him find the next chick to make his girl miserable with. There is a man out here with an extra inch trying to give you his time that is better then the one who’s playing games with you. 

Peace and Blessings. 

“Judging is for jurors, Judges and God. If you aren’t none mentioned then there is no need to judge. We all done did some hoe shit before.”- Yours truly