There are somethings in life I admit that I will just not understand. Some of those things is how mothers can neglect their children, calculus and algorithms. But what has me stumped today is how a man who claims to have loved a woman would go out of his way to try to bring her down after the relationship is over. I try not to be a petty/bitter person when it comes to a break up. At the age that I am break ups aren’t new to me. I have had my heart broken. I had the moments when I thought I wouldn’t be able to go on living without a person. And of course I have thoughts of committing acts of violence that would certainly get me serious time in jail. I’m not about that jail life tho, so I commit them in my head. lol I am human and I have flaws just like any other person but at the end of the day I’m not bitter. I give myself 2-3 days to get over it and without interaction with that person I am fine. Or at least that is what I try to portray to my friends and family. But let’s be honest break ups are hard to deal with. Your brain and heart makes you feel that you are depressed and goes thru chemical changes that make you think that you can’t go on without that person. Being real I have said that a thousand times and I look at me… still living and shit. Sometimes when it feels like you can’t go on without that person it could be for financial reasons, you don’t think you will get that companionship from anyone else or you don’t like being alone. Mines have always been the latter of the three. I don’t like being alone. It is something that I realized and I am working on it. I'm forever a work in progress. Ever since my ex moved out I have enjoyed having my own space, not having to share the tv, not bitching and complaining about him not doing things around the house that I felt must be done and cleaning up behind a grown ass man. I’m not using this platform to bash him because with time and karma I know that all that he has did wrong to me would be made right. Like I said I’m not petty, I don’t tend to let broken relationships make me bitter but better. The man I was with for 2.5 years took to social media try to make himself look better for whatever reason and to make me look like I am nothing. And by all means if he felt like I was nothing then it was his choice to feel like it but to do it on social media is where I, as an adult of 32 years, draws the line. This is the same man that told me just two days prior how he misses me and still loves me. But then turns around and post malicious content about yours truly. I am no saint, I have flaws and I KNOW that I am a piece of work. But I am loyal, I am a giver and pleaser. The qualities I possess are not rare but they are worth it. I have been asking myself why regarding his actions all evening and I found out if you ask yourself a question long enough you can come up with all of the answers yourself. I know why he did it. He’s mad, he’s bitter, he’s weak. I have yet to post anything about him being vicious and though i have engaged in conversations that I know I shouldn’t have with this man I have yet to be mean to him. I believe that karma will get to you when you least expect it and i try to put good out into the universe so that I can get it back tenfold. I wanted to retaliate with vicious words and ferocious behavior but I am an adult, I have a career to think about and an image of being a Queen to uphold. Though my crown might slide down I make sure that it never falls. Plus if I respond to every ignoble person I would be as ignorant as them. Break ups are meant for the two people involved in the relationship to deal with. For the two people to find time to heal, lick their wounds and move on. Like I said before break ups hurt, they are sometimes hard to get over but they are necessary for you to grow. If the Higher Beings wanted for life to be easy then how would we ever grow? We grow best at times when things are going wrong, not when they are going right. “If there is no struggle there is no progress.” Frederick Douglas said that in 1857 and those are the words that I see every morning when I log on to my computer at work. Because it is true, there is no progress without a struggle and that is in all aspects of life. The internet is no place to air dirty laundry because you’re hurt and as a man to do that it gets you NO respect from other men or women. Weak women might think that’s cute but a strong woman wouldn’t. For those who think running to the internet will make you feel better to curse out your ex or to expose secrets that only the two of you share you are wrong. The things you say, especially on the internet, will always have a way of coming back to bite you in the ass. You can go from being able to be cordial with the one you still love (let’s face it if you are trying to hurt the other person you are still in love) to burning a bridge that you might need to cross in the future. You never know how those positions will change so in life try to do good when people treat you wrong, forgive fast and forget slowly and never use the internet as a place to show your pain. Those are just a few tips to live by. You make yourself look weak as a person and if you are a male doing this you are better off tucking your package and get your “Caitlyn Jenner” on. Men do manly things and boys do childish things. Men need to learn how to be men and not boys. To the females that constantly bash their ex or child(ern)’s father you can’t complain about him, you slept with him. And to some boy men that’s all that matters.
Stay blessed
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