Gilli's Book Club: The Four Agreements

I have recently finish reading this book called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. It’s available on iBooks and all major retail book sellers. The concept of it is to inform you how even though we are living in hell on Earth that we are able to live in our own heaven if we abide by these four agreements. It also talks about other great things that you should grab the book and read it and thank me later.

One of the four is to be impeccable with your word. The word impeccable means to be in accordance with the highest standards of propriety; faultless. Your word can move armies or it can destroy dynasties. The author described your word as being a two edge sword. On one side it can create a beautiful dream on the other side it can destroy everything around you. It’s hard to not be negative with your word. Especially in times when you have been hurt or someone is trying to hurt you. Think about the last time you have said something nasty to a loved one. You called them a son of a such and such or a mother of a such and such. That’s not being impeccable, use your word to bring one up not down. Also watch the things that you say to yourself. Self abuse is real. Your words of negative talk will bring you negative circumstances. The law of attraction is something that should be belived in. If you place good energy in the things around you, people, animals, even n your own space then good things will come to you. But you have to eliminate self abuse and negative self talk. Instead of saying “I’m dumb.” try “ That wasn’t a good decision but I’ll make sure next time to make a wiser one.” The abuse level that you give yourself is what you will actually take from another person. If a  person says your dumb you might believe it because you have already told yourself this. CUT THAT SHIT OUT!!!! You are incredible. Even when life’s obstacles get in your way don’t ever think that you are not stellar!

The second is to don’t take anything personal. You get cut off by someone on the road. You honk then you find yourself swearing and calling him/her names. It’s not because it was you that they cut you off. It’s because they are in a rush or have some issues they are dealing with. If you sit back and think about how someone treated you nasty or did something to you that tried to hurt you, it wasn’t you that made them do those things they did them because they are dealing with their own demons. If someone calls you dumb, that’s how they feel about themselves. It doesn’t have anything to do about you and don’t let them plant that seed of negativity into your brain because then you will start to believe that and then you will tell yourself that bullshit. Nothing that other people do is because of you. ISo don’t take it personally.

The third agreement is don’t make assumptions. Something that I battle with everyday. We make assumptions of people’s behavior because they exhibit  the same behavior that someone else in the past has. We begin to believe our assumptions and blame the other person even though they aren’t doing those things. We lash out and treat them harshly because of assumptions we played out in our own mind. Taking things personally and making assumptions go hand and hand. If you can stop doing one then you can stop doing the other and begin to live a live of happiness and bliss. You need to make sure to ask for clarification in all areas of your life. If you find yourself unsure ask, don’t assume. For example, your partner tells you that at the last minute that they are going out  girls/guys night. You don’t remember them telling you this and you begin to assume that they didn’t tell you this because they aren’t really going to hang they are going to cheat or be decietful in some shape or fashion. So you start to say hurtful things and go against agreement number 1 (Be impeccable with your word). Now you are both in bad moods and in all reality they just really forgot to you that they was going to hang out with their friends. So if you didn’t assume the worst and let your partner leave and come back things would have went alot smoother and now you wouldn’t have to deal with a fuck-nado (like a tornado but its fucked) that you occured. Don’t assume that you aren’t good enough because someone else got that promotion you wanted. They just may have different skills then you, it doesn’t take away from your awesomeness. Don’t assume the cashier at Wendy’s snapped at you because you asked for extra sauce. (Why do they act as if the extra sauce will deducted from their pay?) You never know what people are dealing with internally and not all people are emotionally stable enough to control their emotions. I’m sure we have all heard the saying” Don’t assume because you make an ASS out of yourself.” It still applies…

The fourth agreement is to always do your best. Now that seems simple enough. You want to run, do your best at running. You want to write a book, do your best at writing that book. You want to suck dick for money and do blow, make sure that you are the best dick sucker and blow snorter that their is. Whatever you want to do, regardless of what it is do your best at it and you will be happy. There will be no space for taking things personally or making assumptions if you do your best. That is also something to practice when being impeccable with your word. Now listen sometimes we just aren’t up for it but we have to push ourselves to constantly do our best. There have been days when my alarm clock will go off and I will say “Do I gotta adult today?” Then I will get my ass up and I will go adult and make the best of my day. Having that type of positive energy will make you have a positive day. No one can get in your way but you.

I’m on a pursuit of happiness. I am finding out what things bring me joy and that give me peace. I am working on becoming a person in all areas of my life. I don’t want to be one who engages in petty arguments or even gives someone that much of my energy and time to get me upset. Or a person who says whatever out of her face. Someone who assumes the worst without asking questions. I ESPECIALLY don’t want to be known as someone who doesn’t do her best at life. I’m making an amends to my ways so that I can use the four agreements in my daily life so that I can learn to live in my personal heaven on hell. The book is a good read and will open your third eye to a new way of thinking about things.

As always stay blessed

To Whom it May Concern

To whom it may concern,

Don’t allow just anyone into your space. Not everyone is worthy of it. Their mouth may say one thing while the intentions of that person is and can be totally opposite. There is a species of males to be aware of called “fuck boys”. They like to pretend to be one thing and turn out to be completely another. They start off charming, then they might have an incident where they turn sour. It may happen so quickly that you don’t even notice it because your head is so far into the clouds. But then there are more instances of when his fuck boyness shows and you start to question him.You don't ask him about his behavior and actions but yourself. You begin to ask your friends if this is normal behavior to expect from a man? A fuck boy may appear to be a man but he isn’t. He comes dressed dapper with swag and an impeccable speech but be aware. Be aware of the men you let into your space because they can mess up your energy. Bad people bring bad energy and you might not notice that until things have gotten too far or its too late. Never be ashamed to ask questions like “Where is this going?” or “What are we?” because those are important questions and those are things that need to be known before going to the next step with a person. Never give up who you are to please someone else. You are unique and special.  It may seem as though I’m rambling,which I am but it’s just that its so important for you to know these things. There are fuck girls out here and my young kings you need to be aware of them. They try to use you and drain you but you should notice their fuckness behavior before you get into too deep and lawd forbid you have a baby by them. Geesh… Always be upfront with who you are and no one can ever second guess your motives. Give yourself to a person because you see them for more then just a fun time and a nut. Sex without love is just excerise and at this age I should be JLo ripped. Never think that what you hear about a man isn’t facts on his behavior, just because you haven’t seen it yet doesn’t mean it won’t happen. No matter how good the sex is or the potential you see in a person take their ass for the face value that they are showing you and then you will never be hurt by their actions or think twice about cutting them off. But also be aware of your behavior and actions, plus the energy that you are giving to those in your space. I'm not perfect I have made mistakes. When I do I take responsibility for my actions and consequences from the mistakes I have made (even though I try to talk my way out of it )because as an adult woman I have no choice but to pick up the peices, reasse the situation without clouded vision and move the fuck on. There is nothing worst then being a man or woman who don’t know when to move on. Not to say don’t show no emotion as though that person didn’t mean anything to you just not on social media or on that person's voicemail inbox. Take a day or a weekend and dust yourself off, pick yourself up and keep it the fuck pushing. As Queen Bey says ”The best revenge is your paper.” It takes alot out of you to not want to demonstrate acts of violence. Like slash his tires, scratch up his car and bust out his windows BUT those things will get you killed or locked up. And with that he/she wins. Never let them know they got the best of you by exhibiting signs of hurt emotions. That’s giving them too much of your power. That’s giving them too much of your energy. Take what they was to you and then throw it into the trash. It’s easier said then done but that doesn’t make it impossible for it to happen. It’s always the sunniest after a bad storm. And during that storm don’t beat yourself up. If you feel you are at fault, own up and make sure to never make those same mistakes again. If the other party is at fault well then take it as a learning lesson and keep it thee fuck pushing. One monkey don’t stop no show. No matter how good he look, what he has or how good the sex is. Don't settle, watch the signs and juke the fuck boys.

Stay blessed.