I have recently lost my job that I held for two years in a field I have been in for 13 years and due to my actions it has resulted into me losing my job. I have never felt more lost in my thirty two years then I do in this moment. I know that I need to get another job, but I'm not sure if it's suppose to be in the same field as I have established my career in. Here is where comes the dilemma.
As of recently I have been thinking about my purpose in this life. I have been questioning my career path and what I would be doing if I wasn't doing what I have been doing for the last thirteen years. The Sunday before I lost my job I have possessed this question about my life and although I have the thoughts about what would make me happy, I'm deterred by the amount work that I would have to take to get those things done. I think that I'm too old, I have all of these thoughts of how I'm going to be defeated before I even get on the field. This is how I'm my own worst enemy. I fool myself into thinking that I can't do these things that I dream of doing. That for whatever reason I am going to fail when I haven't even tried. Failure scares me. Not only when pursuing a dream but in relationships. As a way of facing my fears or starting to pursue my dreams I have started this blog...and here we are.
I believe that I have lost my job at this point in my life where I am trying to figure out myself and figure out my purpose in life as a sign from the Universe. I have lost focus somewhere and I have to regain that focus. Lesson learned. but this lesson will either break me or make me. I choose for it to make me. Make me into a better woman, a better professional and to make me a better role model to those who look up to me. I have been going thru life not thinking about the latter, those who look up to me. I have just been out here doing whatever. But I feel like at this moment that I have major things to figure out and this amble time that I have will give me the time to do just that.
Be blessed and stay tuned.
